Cleaning and the Lego Force: Respect the Lego

I mentioned earlier this week that I have been doing some major pre-move purging and cleaning. I have most of the house done, and most "dirt" was what is expected: dirty windows, curtains that needed to be washed, expired spices to be tossed, dust bunnies under the couch, a couple of socks hiding in random places. However, when it came to the boys' rooms, I'm just not sure what happened in those places!

Along with the to-be-expected cleaning of the "snake pits" as I not so fondly call the boys' rooms, I found: empty water bottles, which they are allowed to have, (is it SO hard to throw them in the recycling?); dirty clothes in places that clothes should not be (oh of COURSE those dirty socks and underwear and jeans should be shoved in a storage tub, under blankets and pillows, and Lego drawers, perfectly logical, I mean, it's not as if there is a laundry sorting system RIGHT where the we get undressed for the shower!); a CLEAN shirt that was shoved under the bookcase (I know I just washed it last week...was it REALLY faster to shove that way in back and under that little tiny space than it would have been to JUST. HANG. IT. UP!); various food wrappers and popcorn seeds which they are NOT allowed to have in their rooms; and a half eaten cookie (who forgets to finish a cookie?)! Maybe I need to start hiding my cookies and then I could lose a little weight. I NEVER forget to finish a cookie!

A little grosser were the used tissues that migrated to parts of the room where no one could ever possibly blow their nose. It had to have taken the kleenex stuffer longer to shove those things in the hiding spaces than it did just to throw them away (yes, the have garbage cans in their rooms). Maybe they're afraid to put the used tissues in the garbage because they think the dog will get them. The dog has some weird used tissue fetish where he pulls tissues out of the garbages and shreds them all over the room. Then, you have soggy used kleenex to throw away. While you are cleaning up this mess and grumbling at the dog, he just stands there and "smiles" at you with his little doggy underbite and looks at you like, "What?! I heard it is a good source of protein and I need to be in shape for my walks!"

I know, REALLY disgusting. Sorry, but this is my life.

My biggest nemesis that lurks in the pits are the Legos. I mean, what do you do with hundreds of tiny little pieces that end up in every single drawer, storage place (for things other than Legos), surface areas, floors, window sills, book shelves and of course under the bed/dresser/desk?! I have started referring to the little edge in the carpet against the molding as Lego Trenches: It's where Legos go to die! They DO have Lego storage systems, but I think these little pieces of expensive plastic have united to form the Lego Force. The Lego Force is what causes parents around the world to NOT toss away those tiny little buggers when it would be the quick and easy thing to do. The Lego Force is what whispers in the back of rational adult minds, "But they're NOT cheap and will this be the one piece needed to complete the masterpiece?", and compels them to get down on their hands and knees to pick up all of those teeny weeny pieces instead of simply sucking them up with the vacuum hose. The times I do get so frustrated that I (secretly, shh) do suck them up, I still cannot suck up Lego body parts. Hair, bodies, microscopic arms and their accessories are safe from the vortex. I imagine little voices yelling, "No, no, I have a wife, a house and a pirate boat! How will I use my Indiana Jones whip if you throw away my hand?!"

Is this crazy? Yes! It's the goal of the Lego Force: Respect the Lego!