Tuesday, July 7, 2009

For the Sake of Honesty (or Post-Move Adjustment Disorder)

I haven't been saying a lot, because, well, I've not been in an all uplifting and cheerful mood. Moving is hard on me. I don't like leaving friends (and in this case, family) behind, I don't like having to learn the ins and outs of a new area, when I just figured out what works at the last place. Meeting new people is hard for me. I know that sounds weird, but that small talk one has to do to get to know one better wears me out. I tend to like maintaining fewer, yet deeper, relationships, the ones who know me, all of me, and love me anyway. I'm not a good military wife when I admit these things, just honest.

Since Chuck and I have married (and I was married to him BEFORE he joined the AF, so I can say these things), we have moved EIGHT times in 15 years. It was fun at first. Exciting to see new places and meet new people. We have lived in some awesome places and have seen amazing things and have made great friends, for which I am very grateful. But I am tired of it now. This move has been especially challenging because we only have one car right now, it is 15 miles to Chuck's work and so, we are kind of stuck most days. It has been EXTREMELY hot (in the hundreds), so the boys haven't gotten out to play much, have hardly even seen other kids their age. The area is dead and yellow looking, like a straw field in the fall, needing to be harvested. And even if transportation wasn't an issue, there is still nowhere within 20 minutes that has daily mass, and those are at times like 0600.

At this point, the physical landscape surrounding our new home is the perfect picture of what I am experiencing emotionally, and worse, spiritually.

I am trying hard to buck up. I am trying hard to do my duty. I know there is a transition period that we go through after each move, and this too shall pass.

I am glad to have my husband back from Korea. I am SO grateful that he has a job that supports us in this bad economy. That is a huge gift in itself. And I never take our good health for granted.

God promises, "My grace is sufficient for you..." And thank God for that, because sometimes in life, it is the only thing that carries us through.

5 comments:

Mother Mayhem said...

I'm one on those small talk challenged people as well. ;o)

Saying a prayer that your new hometown will grow on you.

Angela said...

Tracy,
I am praying for you. I am one who needs change, but that is a lot of moving.


~Angela

Megan said...

Tracy you and I are very similar indeed. I just want to buy a house and stay there forever. Eat lots of chocolate maybe it will help :)

munchesmom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
munchesmom said...

Hugs & prayers for you! I second Megan chocolate suggestion - it always works for me!