Junk Mail

Tuesdays are junk mail days at our house. The only thing I like about junk mail is that at least it's not a bill! Today, I got something addressed to "The Smart Shopper".

Lately my mind been so fizzled I'll take being a smart anything!

Prisoner in His Own Home; aka Sick or Not Sick

Craig started running a fever last night with it peaking at 101.5 around bedtime. We gave him some Tylenol, water and a bucket (just in case) and put him to bed. While there was some underlying concern about Swine Flu, I wasn't too freaked because there is a "lesser" bug going around his school right now. There were no other symptoms, but it was still 100.7 this morning and he stayed home from school.

He spent most of the day sitting on the couch rotting his brain in front of the tv. The fever broke around lunch time and he became restless. I pulled the plug on the mind sucker, and suddenly he is clamoring to go outside (because his brother and friends are home from school). In our house, if you aren't well enough for school, you aren't well enough for friends. It's just common sense and common courtesy. After explaining to him (again) that you still have to take it easy to let your body recover, I suggested he read (which he usually loves doing). He proceeds to sigh, stomp loudly up the stairs to get his book, where he informs Jaden, *key violin* "You're lucky you can go outside. Me, I'm a prisoner. A prisoner in my own home."

I'm just glad he's well enough to feel that way.

Happy Cinco de Mayo! We're having tacos, how about you?

Memory Lane Monday

My last, completely clear, yet totally surreal memory happened in September of ’07.

Chuck was working 12 hour night shifts at the time for an inspection, and was just getting off work when I was taking Jaden to school. I was surprised to see him pull up and park near the gate through the perimeter fence to the school. I thought he might want to say a quick, “Have a good day!” to Jaden. But I noticed there was something different about Chuck’s spirit as we walked Ja to his classroom. I tried chalking it up to his being tired, but somehow, I knew there was something more.

We had dropped Ja off and walking side by side back to the gate. He had grabbed my hand, and said to me, “I have something to tell you.”

It’s weird how when you are about to get bad news, you notice the things around you, your surroundings, and for me, the weather. At that moment, everything froze, and is the moment that the world stood still for me. I remember the sand on the ground that had shifted from so many rains. I remember the birds, and I remember that the morning fog had not burned off yet. I remember the air being heavy. “You’re going to Korea, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” One word uttered so many different ways thousands of times a day and this time it changes our lives. What makes these times surreal is that while your moment is frozen everyone else keeps going; people that are still walking by, the little children clinging to their mothers, the giggling from a shared joke, the birds are still chirping. Does the gate guard checking our ID’s sense that our lives have just changed? With one simple “Yes” it keeps by passers and onlookers oblivious to the onslaught of thoughts and emotions coming through you at once.

“How soon?” I wondered aloud.

“June of ’08,” he answered.

I nodded, very quiet. I couldn’t even say what I was feeling (I know, imagine THAT). I just knew that the one person who is my world was leaving. He isn’t just my husband. He isn’t just the father of my children. He is my best friend, the one person who truly knows me and loves me anyway. Chuck is the gift that God gave me in this world to keep me balanced. I used to believe that “soul mate” was a romanticized, cheesy term used by anyone to describe someone they had clicked with at one point. But I can honestly say that there have been moments when I know that our souls have not just connected, but inter-mingled, became one, never to be completely separated again.

And, there I was, faced with my heart, my life and part of my soul preparing to leave for a year. From the time he joined the Air Force (I was married to him BEFORE he joined); this assignment has been the one I’ve dreaded. I’m not being a very good military wife admitting this, just honest.

“You don’t seem very upset,” he said to me.

“I’ve just known for a while now that you were going to leave. I’ve just had this premonition for a couple of years. I am upset. I’m just not surprised,” I explained.

At that point we went to the office that handles the orders. We had seven days to decide whether for him to accept the orders, or to not be able to re-enlist once his time ran out on his current enlistment. We couldn’t accompany him. We went home, both of us overwhelmed and not knowing what to say. We hadn’t been home an hour when the phone rang, letting me know that my 92 year old grandpa had passed away. Out of those seven days where we were making a career decision, we spent four of them going to and from the funeral of my grandfather (11 hours away).

At some point during that time, something in me just kind of shut off. I’ve just been kind of numb ever since, functioning in survival mode (there were already 2 deaths and a 2 cancers in the family in the past year). This was also the day I pulled the plug on my old blog. I just didn’t know what I had to say. I realize now, that in order to write, one has to feel, and I can’t feel one thing without opening the door for everything else. I guess in order for me to get through this year, it’s what had to happen.

I’m glad I can feel again. It’s not all good, but it beats just existing. And Chuck will be home in four weeks. THAT is something I am looking forward to feeling

Enter: Cornhole

Today is a bright, sunny day and a great day for Cornhole. If you've never played Cornhole, you're missing out! When I first heard of Cornhole, I couldn't get past the idea that this must be something that Beevis and Butthead played. Did it have people running around with their shirts on their heads talking about "Corn-holio"?! It's like horseshoes, only with boards with a hole and beanbags (stuffed with corn) to throw instead of heavy metal shoes. A wonderful alternative to horseshoes for kids and it's a fun BBQ game for adults as well. It's pretty popular in these parts, growing in popularity nation wide, there's even tournaments and a Cornhole Association.



Chuck started playing this game at work parties a few years back. Horseshoes used to be the thing, but now it's Cornhole; maybe because it's portable, and it does far less damage to the lawn? (And maybe someone finally figured out that giving a bunch of drinking guys heavy metal things to throw around in a group wasn't the safest idea!) When we moved to Ohio last year, my brother was really into the game, too. So, we invested in our own set, and have gotten our money's worth.

It's nice to hear the *thump* of the bag hitting the board. It's even nicer to hear the neighborhood kids having so much fun with such a simple concept. C'mon over! The weather's fine, and the bags are hittin the boards!

Out of Order

My resident 8yo plumber has declared the upstairs toilet "Out of Order". He even put a sign on the seat so we wouldn't forget. He's been plunging after every use for two days now, and still can't get suction. *SIGH* Guess we'll have to call in the big guns on Monday. I am a bit frustrated by this ( I know, in the grand scheme of things, right?) The downstairs toilet is fine, but still, these little annoyances add up.

I am pretty sure that one of the lessons that God has shown me this year is that what you think you want is not always what you want. Since we have moved away from Ohio when I was 12 years old, I have dreamed of moving back. And so the boys and I are living that dream, and for the most part, we've really liked it. I always thought I would love to buy an old house and renovate it, that it would be so neat to live in an old home. So we were able to rent "this old house" for the year, and I can say with most confidence now, that renovation is over-rated.

Almost everything that can go wrong with a house HAS in the past year. The DAY after Chuck left for Korea, the pipe from the upstairs bathroom was leaking in the basement. That resulted in the toilet and part of the floor being removed in the bathroom; cutting a hole in the kitchen wall, floor to ceiling, in order to replace the pipe. Then the hole in the bathroom or the kitchen wasn't fixed for several weeks. I was living in a construction zone for a month and a half! (I am "A Place for Everything" gal, you do the math!) Door knobs come off continuously in your hands when using the doors (just one of many old house offerings), we have no water pressure, the hot water heater went out just last week, and now we're back to toilet issues. The owners have had to replace something in this house almost every month since we've been here, through nothing we have done or not done. So yeah, my honeymoon with old houses is OVER!

So as I was sitting here pondering whether to call the owners now or let them enjoy the weekend, I dedided to read a few blogs. Over at Esther's blog I read:

Today I will accept any suffering that comes my way, confident that it is somehow part of God’s loving plan. -Regnum Christi Daily Meditation

And I commented: "Hmmm...I needed this reminder today! But I wonder, does that suffering include toilet issues in a 109 yo house?! Again? That plunging is NOT helping?! I wonder, are no suction toilets part of God's plan?!"

Well, if nothing else, it reminded me that this really is a very small thing. It reminded me to offer up my "annoyance" for those who have no running water, or indoor plumbing, where families of 8 live in a house smaller than my bathroom made from cinder blocks and a cardboard roof.

It reminded me, that perhaps, the toilet wasn't the only thing out of order. So was my attitude. Maybe I'll just hang that sign around my neck and trust that yes, non-flushing toilets ARE a part of God's plan!

Plunging Part 2

Jaden was plunging the upstairs toilet this morning before school. (Don't ask, we live a 109 year old house.) "Squish! Splash! Suck!" came from the toilet.

"Grrr! Great! Now I'm going to have to change my shirt!" from Jaden.

Take Five Fridays

May Day! May Day! It is finally May! While April is a "short" month, it seemed as though it went on and on and on! Even with a holiday, April was a very. long. month. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I knew, that on May 1st, I could finally say, "Chuck will be home in ONE month!" Not that it's been a long year or anything, no, not at all...

*****





Speaking of Chuck, it would be remiss to not mention that today is the feast day of St. Josephy the Worker. Chuck's patron saint is St. Joseph, and the two are both so alike in work ethic and loyalty and love to family. But the way that I think Chuck is the most like Joseph is the spirit of humility and generosity in which he goes through life. Happy St. Joseph's Day!

*****

And now that we're in May, Monday will start the countdown of 4 weeks until he is home. Four weeks left to get the house purged, organized and ready for packers. I've gotten some of it done, but I prefer to wait until later (like the boys' bedrooms), otherwise I have to do it all over again. In the craziness that is our life, Chuck will be home June 1, pack out 3-5 AND have the house inspection clean for our deposit on the evening of the 5th so that we can be on the road to our next assignment in CA on the 6th.(God willing, we still don't have packers officially through the Air Force, and they don't always check in with God!) 2300 miles... in the car, with the boys, and the dog and the cat. Someone is going to end up like Aunt Edna on Vacation duct taped to the top of the car before we get there. Chuck admits that, "Yes, this WILL be a long hard road trip, but eventually, maybe after a week or two, we'll all start talking to each other again!"

*****

I really, really love the four seasons that Ohio has to offer. It has been 25 years since I have lived somewhere that offers the real beauty and colors of four normal seasons.

It was great last summer when it didn't get so hot that no one could even go outside. The boys really enjoyed being out and hanging with friends vs. the sweat-bath sauna summers that Turkey and NC had to offer.

Fall was SO beautiful. While I am excited to move to our next place and be together as a family again, I am going to miss a real northern fall, with all the colors that offers. Well, here's a description in an essay that was published over at Catholic Exchange.

We liked the snow, for about the first two snowfalls, and then realized that with snow come shovels, and people that have to use them. Of course we had 28" above normal this year. Boy do I know that, I shoveled every inch! We did enjoy the three weeks Chuck could be home for the holidays and the maple sugaring we went to in February.

Now we have an intense and bright green that spring offers. The trees in our neighborhood create a canopy of hope, while our inner little world is speckled with violet and yellow daffodils and red tulips and misty rains and thunderstorms and the laughter of children playing outside in the warmth of sunshine.

Yes, I am going to miss four seasons. But I miss Chuck more.

*****

Yesterday when I picked up Jaden after school it was raining. When he came running to the car, the look on his face was one of pure joy and happiness that can only be found on a boy who is content to live in the moment and celebrate the splashing of warm rain on his arms and face. How many adults feel that same gleeful exuberance when we have to go out in the rain? Our kids are little reminders that happiness is often a choice in how we look at things. We can meet life's rains with grumbling and umbrellas, or we can embrace them and celebrate what it offers right now, in this very moment.